May 30th
I dreamt about Brumbies last night. Wild Australian horses. There were three, a mare, a yearling and a young colt, all red bay with black points .. and interestingly what looked like dreadlocked manes... lol. I have no idea why ... but I was fixated on the dreadlock while I was dreaming...The mare just stood there are stared at me, telling me something... but I didn’t know what, while the young ones played around her. I used to love these horses, and wanted one because who do you know with a Brumby? It would be awesome!
I actually did some work today, I complied a report from the reports from all the settlements. It was really easy and I was done in about 20 minutes.. and then waited... you see we don’t have the other reports from two of the settlements yet. I hate waiting. It’s likely my biggest pet peeve.. I mean what’s the point? We’re wasting time and could die at any moment and yet we wait... I don’t get it.. why not do something else....
I asked about my compost project, and all I’ve gotten so far is, we’ll talk about it, and so I wait... I think I should schedule weekly meetings with Gae.. maybe every Monday to discuss what we should do ....
I think I am discovering that I could definitely run my own NGO.. if this one can run with what they’re doing I think I could do brilliantly....I’m going to start making plans right now... may as well don’t have anything else to do.
____________
tight
wrapped
around me like a cocoon
warm
safe
i leave this place
and dream
no time
no words
no pain
light
shapes
breath
slows and eyes shut
___________
May 31st
The end of month one... well technically month one will be up at June 8th... but no matter. I saw a hippo again... seems it’s sick and really injured, maybe it will die by my fence and stink up the whole place...
This internet is the bane of my existence right now... and long meetings. I don’t know if I can take 7 more months of these long 4 hour meetings with no breaks.... they’re crazy ! And they’re not even productive. My ‘D’ does not fit well here that’s for sure. But at least I have lots of time to doodle... and today Moronga’s kid joined us and entertained me. He kept saying to his Dad all day, come see the white lady ! lol.. he was scared of me though... I think he’ll warm up eventually... apparently he thought I would beat him! What do they tell their kids about white people !?
I’m definitely going to run out of space on my computer soon.. I only have 22 GB left... eek. I guess I’ll have to ration my picture taking...
so it seems as if I’m competing to make a compost pile that’s better than the one they have... but really I just want my vegetables to grow....so I will compete, starting tomorrow...and for now I think I have to find some bin to put my green waste in... or maybe I should just feed it to the hippo to tame it ...I wonder if I could ride a hippo... I wonder if anyone has ridden a hippo...?
On another note I did not prepare properly for this trip. I am definitely going soft... or maybe its that I just cannot face being alone with myself. Either way I really should have thought to bring that case of movies sitting on my shelf ... which I considered.. and then dismissed... WHY oh WHY did I not listen to myself. It’s awful when work is done... that relief of now I get to go home never comes, its more of a dreaded oh now I have to go home.... what will I do? Oh... I have to cook.. sigh.... and at 5:30 its dark ... so what do you do? Its not like I can go running.. garden... build a compost... that all waits for the weekend... and so I sit, in hopeful anticipation that the internet will miraculously work faster and I could stream the latest episode of Grey’s !
Maybe if I had my guitar, a horse and a firepit I would be able to entertain myself...likely not, there’s only so much creative effort you can expend before you want to be filled again... I miss the culture of school, with dramas and clubs and Calla’s music :) Maybe I will become a lifetime student ... at least on a university campus there’s access to culture... Am I missing JazzFest right now??
I wonder if I could find some musicians and artists to hang out with here.... I think it’s almost time to head down to the liquor store and get me some good wine... If I could cook.. and knew how to host a party here.. and wanted to I would have people over for a dinner party. Aw... that makes me think of our Sunday night dinners.. those were seriously awesome and I took them way too much for granted. There’s nothing like good friends you can talk with, great food and wine, with the random prayer session, encouragement, games and best of all music!
.....umm question.... where are all my subscribers??? spread the word !!
Sometimes life has a way of teaching us what is valuable in some painful ways. Taking those dinners for granted or anything for that matter, which is particular to "home" may never have been realized had it not been for this "lonely expedition" you are on. This will make you stronger of character and will give you an even greater appreciation for relationships. I hope. or....it could just make you totally cynical.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the subscribers are concerned, they may be having issues signing on. I have had numerous occasions where I have written a comment, then went to post it and had trouble getting it posted. Sometimes, the comment I'd written had been deleted. So maybe some have given up trying for now. But you should advertise on fb.