breath on.

The problem with blogs is that you are supposed to update them. But what if you have nothing to write? In order for it to remain interesting and not like reading someone’s diary you have to
a) do interesting things
b)be an interesting person and/or
be really good at making stuff up

...I don’t really think I can fit into these categories. So I’m at a crossroads. I want to write...as this is likely my closest friend right now...this why I’ve named my laptop...her name is Lila btw. I want to write but if I continue to I will drive the few who read it to boredom...
What to do?
Pictures? ...internet’s too slow
stories.... nothing seems to happen....

and so I have a dilemma. So I will quickly tell you want happened today and then I think I will have to take a break from my blog... maybe a day or two...maybe even a week...we’ll see if I can make it :)
Oh yea.. so today I pretty much did nothing. Did I tell you that yesterday I got chased my a protective mother cow... scary lol. Today we were walking past the strike people...on the road to TOCaDI.. and by road I mean sand path through some bush... and apparently the guys there were yelling at us to not pass, that we had no right to pass... I had no idea of course as they were speaking in some other language.
So we walk on a ways... and then next thing I know the guys are turning back to go and confront them...with Moronga’s three year old son trailing behind. I stayed with the laptop and grocery bag....and watched as what I thought would end in a fight enfolded. It was interesting.. but I had no clue what was going on at the time.
Earlier I had tried to sit in the office..but it was really cold...turns out those things I thought were air conditioners...which are.. are also heaters! what?! I know.. ...why were they never turned on before?? But the good news is that there is one in my house.... which would have been lovely if someone had told me...though I have a feeling it may keep the bugs away...then I went to Moronga’s and had some quail meat and sat in a chair for a few hours.
When we got back to the office I again sat down, on the floor...and coloured with the three year old, which was fun....At least I know I may have a friend :)

On another note have you ever realized what triggers your memories. It’s incredible when something like a scent or a hunger pain, turning a certain way, looking at the light brings a memory rushing towards you. The mouth-watering taste of a juicy burger when you first bite into it, the sound of a well-running restaurant with happy customers, a horses distant snort while they munch their dinner, the breeze you feel off Lake Ontario while you rollerblade into the sunset...and little flies smash into your mouth. It’s like you can relive these moments for a split second, and that only makes you feel older and as if time is moving much too fast.
If I could do anything in the world right now, I would go to Tim Hortons with my family, and get a coffee, a garden vegetable sandwich with a boston creme donut. Then we’d head off to the barn, where I would have my horse and Hannah’s pony and we would finish our coffee while grooming them as the sun began to set. After a nice ride we’d let them graze together in the nice grass outside the barn and then head home smelling of horse and hay and leather, tired and content and arrive to our dogs, happy to have us home and jealous they couldn’t join us.
It’s the simple things in life that make it beautiful and those are the things I miss most, the crinkle in someone’s smile, the smell of your house when you walk in (if no one burnt anything..lol) the sound of coffee percolating, the feel of your dogs head on your lap while you read, being able to speak to someone and know they’ll understand you, working internet, shoppers drug mart, the feeling of our nice soft grass on your feet, not being afraid that whatever just bit you may kill you, lists that get fulfilled, sinking onto your couch with tea to watch a movie and escape.....
I’m headed to a girl’s house now for dinner, I think we’re having curry....feels odd, like a date...I’ve never just had dinner with someone if it wasn’t someone I’d known for a while, or it was a date, or I lived with them... so this will be a first...Hope I don’t bore her...I’m tired and well.. on a good day I pretty much suck at small talk...so... :) here’s to a place where you really can’t say no.

~so come on yeah.. aah ah yeah everything’s not lost ....sing out ...yeah....and everything’s not lost...
~ Coldplay - Everything’s Not Lost