gah.

I am so annoyed by the internet. At least it seems to be working today. I've realized I'm an angry person. I have no patience... that doesn't make me very adaptable to Africa... maybe I should head to China, at least people have crazy high work ethic there.
...so what are the stages of culture shock? isn't there supposed to be a honeymoon phase.. why didn't I get that? This is how my emotional progression went... Shock. Protest. Anger. Conceeded. Fear and frustration. Resignation. Determination. A little hope. More shock. Denial. Frustration. Loneliness. Anger. Fatigue.... so where is my honeymoon ? Where is the excitement, the adventure...? Does this mean that adjustment will also not come? Am I an exception... maybe culture shock doesn't apply to me?

I'm wrapped in a fleece blanket as my feet are going slightly numb. You know in the middle of winter where you're on your computer, even though the heat is on and your feet and hands start getting numb... that's what I feel like right now. Africa is not all heat and dust that's for sure... although I knew that before this trip... and yet my subconcious determined that I should pack for summer....
The one benefit that I am actually glad about being persuaded to come here is that if I had gone to Mongolia I would have had to eat so much meat... and here even one or two meals makes me feel like crap. I don't know how meat can make people feel good? Although I do like fish... but still maybe a few times in a week....
I'm running out of things to post since I am doing nothing.
Maybe this is God's way of telling me I shouldn't be in 'development'...,and if i shouldn't be where do I go?.... I think I know the answer :)